Monday, March 18, 2013

If You're Going Through Hell


I saw Hell today.  I did. Honestly I'm having a really hard time processing what I saw.  And I don't know if I really want to write it because then it will be true.  Help me God.  Forgive me.

I was up in the Observatory.  That's what I call it anyway.  It’s basically a room of windows on the top of the house on our end.  You can look in every direction and see something different.  Well today, I was watching The Projects.  I don't know why I am drawn to this side. I just am.  But today it wasn't the normal pull to watch the degenerates there.  Today was instinct, a need, a must.  I was in the middle of my painting and I just threw the brush down and ran up here.  No reason.  Just did it.  I usually stroll around the room, starting out on the west side and circle around to end up on the south side.  But not today.  I turned and immediately went to the south.  That's where it happened.

I didn't have my binoculars but I could see a small child, I think a boy, thrown out of an open door.  The door slammed and the boy banged his fist on the door, crying and screaming.  The door didn't open.  He finally gave up and sat on the steps and cried.  Then the door opened and I saw an arm reach out.  I thought he was going to be let back in, but something caught the fading light as it swished through the air.  The boy doubled over and fell hard.  I yelled, I reached for him.  I got in my car and tore out of the drive.  I was only a little ways away.  I could make it.  I drove.  I didn't know where I was going.  Back alleyways and people running in front of me.  I screamed at them wildly, almost running over a shopping cart in my effort to swerve the streets.  Then I was there.  He was there, on the ground.  No one around.  No one but me.  It was a little boy. Maybe 7, 8. He was holding his middle and there was blood, so much blood.  He reached out to me.  I held his hand, trying to find some way to help.  He looked at me weakly. "I see you" he said "you watch from the windows, The Angel." he grew weaker as he spoke.  "My sister" he choked and groaned, "save my sister, Angel."  I pulled him onto my lap, rocking him and holding him.  "You’re going to be ok" I cooed. "It’s alright." "Save my sister" his eyes stared into mine and I couldn't look away "promise... my sister...” he gave a gargling breath, coughed, and lay still.  Blood was still dripping.  I was covered.  But I was mad.  I was sad. I was scared out of my mind.  I wretched and carried the boy to my car, carefully laying him on the back seat.  I covered him in a blanket.  

He’s in the garden.  I buried him there.  In the dark.  I sang him a song, read him a verse, and gave him to Jesus.  Rest now child.  Find peace.  I will free your sister.  And all of the children treated like you were.  I saw the bruises, and burns.  I watched you faithfully walk to school and walk home carrying food for your family.  I watched and did nothing when you were tossed into the street.  God help me.  I could, no should, have saved you.  Be at peace.

No comments:

Post a Comment